Authentic You Photography Blog

August 10, 2010

Lost

Filed under: Just Because — Char @ 9:45 pm

Lost. That’s how I feel. The best word I can think of that describes my heart right now.

I know many folks that read my ramblings or look at the photos I snap are professional relationships only. But there are also lots of personal friends and family.

So today I write from my heart…for both of you.

Not because I want to, but because I have to. You see, I have learned in an extremely painful way the results of living with walls. With masks. Without being real. Without living from my heart…the very core of who I was created to be. It has left me broken in a way I never experienced before. I want to make a vow that never ever again will I believe that it is safer or easier or better in any way to live without being real. But I know that making a vow is not where it is at…I just need to be. And to be honest, I am not sure what that even means.

At times picking up the pieces feels overwhelming….impossible. But then I remember it’s not up to me or anybody else. God will take it from here.

So for now I will be. Just be. No fight left. Today it involved my boys, a photo shoot, and answering emails. But I will listen to my heart in the midst of life. Listening to my heart is real life, after all. I will look at you in a whole new way…for who you really are…at your core.

Today is a new day. Today I will live from my heart. I will feel. I will be. I will learn to trust. I will love. But even more, I will be. Just be.

No pretty pictures today. =)

Tomorrow, maybe. =)

15 Comments »

  1. Thanks for sharing your beautiful heart with us. Thanks for being!

    Comment by Rosanne — August 10, 2010 @ 9:49 pm

  2. I enjoy looking at your pictures, and get so much inspiration from you. Even though theres no pictures, I love this post. It really speaks to me right now. Thanks so much for being you! You are one of the most beautiful and talented people I know. :)

    Comment by Epiphany — August 10, 2010 @ 9:56 pm

  3. We are praying for you and your family as you go thru this experience. God cares and is helping you on this journey one step at a time. Keep looking to Him for direction as He draws you to himself.

    Comment by Marla — August 10, 2010 @ 10:02 pm

  4. Char,
    I feel the pain in your writing but I also feel the healing & a hope for a beautiful ending o the pain. Thanks for being honest & sharing your heart.
    Be blessed!

    Comment by Bonnie Hurst — August 10, 2010 @ 10:19 pm

  5. I will come along side you in this commitment, Char. It is a very scary, and vulnerable place to be…broken before God and man. This song/verse is my heart’s prayer for you. “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you, will perfect it until the day of Christ.” Phillipians 1:6

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNjZlHARnEk

    Comment by Janette — August 10, 2010 @ 10:39 pm

  6. Char… your beauty continues to grow. Thank you for just being…. you are such a joy to me.

    Comment by Angel — August 10, 2010 @ 10:41 pm

  7. you are very loved by me!! we will walk together. your honesty is a beautiful thing.

    Comment by Ann — August 11, 2010 @ 7:20 am

  8. Praying for you & your family as well.Blessings to you as you continue the journey.

    Comment by Sherry Weaver — August 11, 2010 @ 11:09 am

  9. we’re praying for your family alot.we want to help in any way possible.we love you all

    Comment by Linda Martin — August 11, 2010 @ 6:42 pm

  10. Hi Char, I just want to thank you!! I often enjoy browsing the blogs of photographers I admire, both for their work and their character. I love to learn from them and be inspired by them. Today I came expecting beautiful images to admire, what I got was a breathe of encouragement that was completely unexpected but so totally needed! Sharing your personal place takes a great deal of courage. But because of your courage, you’ve been an encouragement to others too!! Who you are is a beautiful princess of the King, and in Him all days are new:) Blessings to you as you walk out your new found commitment to BE!

    Comment by Alicia Horst — August 11, 2010 @ 7:10 pm

  11. I can feel the pain in these words Char,praying for you as you heal, “one day at a time sweet Jesus”….love ya,

    Comment by LuAnne — August 11, 2010 @ 9:08 pm

  12. Char, being real is sometimes a very scary thing. Something I struggle with too. I’m sorry you feel lost and broken, but I’m glad you’ve made a commitment to just be you. To be real. That is a beautiful thing! I’ll be praying that your experience results in a thing of beauty that only God can orchestrate. Thanks for sharing your heart.

    Comment by Brenda — August 11, 2010 @ 11:00 pm

  13. Char, It has been awhile and I am glad I click on your email to read your words. He knows exactly where you are. You are hidden in His arms. You are always in His sight never for a moment does He take His eyes off of you. He loves the truth in your inward parts. Your words and heart are beautiful to Him. Can it be that simple……..Just Be. Oh yes, for in these words there is rest for your soul. May we all find the courage to….Just Be…..You have painted a pretty picture that God loves to see. A contrite heart. Char, but for a moment you feel lost…..just a moment, only to be found again by Him and in His everlasting arms.

    Comment by Linda kahler — August 12, 2010 @ 6:39 am

  14. Char,
    Thinking of you and your family. I know it’s a difficult time, but I see a tiny spec of light at the end of the tunnel!! So excited to see what breakthroughs are coming your family’s way! :)

    Comment by Alyssa Glick — August 12, 2010 @ 3:12 pm

  15. That’s right, sometimes all God wants us to do is just be. Just hang there on the vine. It may take time to just hang on His vine but we’ll see some really awesome fruit flourish. We just need that time to gather nutrients and nourishment! Blessings! Soaking it in too!

    Comment by Brittany Lynn — August 13, 2010 @ 4:49 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Powered by WordPress